Laura Freeland's Page

Posted by Laura Freeland on April 13th, 2008 at 5:41pm
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So how exactly do you get over a broken heart?? I don't think I've every REALLY had to before. There was a guy that I dated, but he hurt me so badly that just the idea of missing him did not last very long ... within a month, I was good.

So for those of us who want to get married and start thinking in that direction, how do you get over the one that doesn't want you back? When he's had that part of your heart, not because he asked for it, but because your relationship just naturally gravitated to that over the years - how do you repair it and move on?

Remember John? I didn't think it was going to be this hard. I knew it would be awkward and strange - but the hardest part is that after four and a half years of being best friends, he's having no problem walking away. I understand that guys aren't as relational as we are, but seriously - this is ridiculous.

So how exactly do you move past that? You give them the choice - and they choose nothing. What do you do next? How do you remove your heart from that situation and really truely heal?

There are many verses throughout the Psalms that talk about God restoring the soul. And when it comes to a broken heart, I really think that is where the healing needs to occur. When we put ourselves out there and remind the men in our lives that they can't have the added benefits of a relationship with us, without a commitment - and they reject us, it is a part of our soul that needs to be restored. Only when we let our Heavenly Father comfort us and hold us as we cry do we start to heal.

The hard part is keeping that up. Asking God to help heal that part of you everyday until you're ok again. Giving it to him and letting him deal with that.

It hurts - I won't lie. It's pretty painful. But you know what? God has a plan for you, a BIG plan, and we need to trust God that there is a man out there for us. A man who will treat us like the princess God created us to be in His eyes. A man who will honour and cherish the benefits of that closeness - complete with a commitment that holds God in the centre.

Posted by Laura Freeland on March 15th, 2008 at 1:13am
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I recently finished reading Get Married, but that's not where my story begins.

As part of the leadership team for our young adult ministry, I have had the opportunity to work alongside some very godly and wise people. I have been encouraged by them and look to them for input on many levels. Last month, at a prayer meeting for our ministry the Pastor in charge pulled me aside and spoke a prophecy that he had seen for my life for marriage. That it would be happening in the next two years. I smiled and thought to myself "you're funny". But as I left that evening I knew what he was saying was true. I'd been feeling like God was trying to prepare my heart for something but I wasn't sure what it was. I confided in one of my close girlfriends and she showed up the next day with a copy of Candice's book. As I began to read the scriptures in search of a description of the man this might be, I was drawn to Ephesians and Hebrews where the character of spriritual leaders is drawn out in detail. And as I read Candice's book it made me realize that maybe I had to change some of my own actions and habits and thoughts in order to really prepare for such a huge step.

In order to understand what happened next, you're going to need a little more background. I moved to Edmonton in August 2003 from my hometown in Southern Ontario. Having grown up in a church where I never really felt accepted, I didn't really feel all that connected to God. After all, the girls in the church were almost worse than the girls at my school - so why would I want to be a part of what they said they had?? This move gave me a chance to get away from the expectations and do life on my own. After two years of fighting it and fighting with God I walked into the sanctuary of a church I had only heard about, and Jesus and I finally met right there. My best friend (let's call him John) whom I had met when I moved into residence was in the same boat. John and I both grew up around the church but didn't care too much. It was hard for me to watch him continue with the life that I wanted out of. But eventually he too turned his life over to Jesus and we haven't looked back since. We've been best friends and have seen each other through pretty much everything we've been through over the last four and a half years - finals, break ups, car accidents, pre-Jesus bar nights (and mornings after) - and it was this relationship that I realized needed to change.

It was Candice's own story of standing up for herself with Steven and making him define their relationship that really got me to thinking. John and I have had a number of discussions about the fact that everyone in our lives thinks one of two things: That we are dating and just not telling people OR That we will eventually figure it out and end up married. Unfortunately for us, that's not the case. We've tried to give eachother the space in public so that it doesn't appear like we're dating, however, we continued having our late night chats, our dinner and movie evenings both in and out, and in essence, we were emotionally involved. We may have denied it to anyone else, but in truth, we have been so connected with each other that it's no wonder we haven't been able to let anyone else near us. So after four and a half years, it's time to let him go. It's going to be a difficult road, I need to trust God that if I let go of John, I'll be able to open up to another man who will love me sacrificially and be IN love with me. And it isn't fair to that man if I continue this emotional affair with my best friend.

So here I am, reaching out to the women of this world, who, like me, want to get married one day and may not be having the easiest time figuring all of this out. Thanks for listening to my story. I'll be praying for all of you.