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Added a reply Feb 20
Hey Jennifer! That's such a good analogy--we don't belong on a shelf unless we're brand new and unread! I also SO agree with you on the fact that we shouldn't open ourselves up and completely share everything--we need to guard our hearts and protect ourselves. "Do not awaken love until it so desires." Well, it seems as though all three of us have slightly awoken this love before its time. Or at least I did! And I'm suffering the repercussions of such an action. And I'm serious, I did not even date this man. We were friends, very very VERY close friends. But even in that, I did not guard my heart. I thought, "I have been guarding my heart for 22 years! I'm ready now to give it to someone." And then I tried, and he didn't want it so much. Well, I kept on believing that this was the one. And what did God do? He separated us even further apart! But I STILL loved him. It's not like it kept me from loving him. So at that point I realized, hey, we are not together, he obviously does not love me how I love him, and that's that. That's it. That's all there is to it, there's nothing I can do but pray for him. I can do more for me though, and you can for you--like I said, I think we all need to learn to really love ourselves and respect ourselves enough to know that we will love and be loved some day by a man that will love us back equally or even more, and we should not settle until we find that man. It's just so important, I guess, to trust God in this. If we really believe that God has that person for us, then we shall wait on God. Specifics--our minds are battlefields. Satan attacks our minds because he knows it's an easy target. When a thought enters your mind about the guy, pray against and ask the Holy Spirit to guard your mind against wrong thoughts about him. Wrong being...what if, maybe, questioning, negative, hateful, angry, or anything of the sort-thoughts. Satan likes to get us wondering. Well, wondering can lead to a lot of places, and anytime our thoughts are... Reply »
Added a reply Feb 20
Hey Laura, thanks for replying and the encouragement, nice to meet you. I'm new here too, this site is really cool. So here are my thoughts: I can totally relate to you in that you love him so much and you just want to do anything to make him happy, so much that you're willing to even sacrifice your own happiness to do so. I can also relate to you in that you always find him, call him, and try anything to get him to love you and make yourself known. It hurts a little, but for some reason I keep getting over it and keep doing it. And then, it keeps hurting. Girl, let me just tell you this truth, and I really believe it: YOU ARE WORTH SO MUCH MORE THAN THIS. I know you love him Laura, and it hurts. But before loving him, you really, really need to love yourself. That means you care about your happiness, you absolutely love who you are as a person and would date yourself, you enjoy being around you, you respect you, and you know who you are in God. It SOUNDS selfish and this is something that was really hard for me to grasp, but it's the first step in finding true love. When you love you, anyone can love you. My second thought is, I don't think this man really deserves you. If he doesn't want to take the time to really open his eyes and see how wonderful and amazing of a woman you are, then that is HIS LOSS. God has someone so perfect for you, someone who will be head over heels for you and sweep you off your feet. He will love you more than you know and will bend over backwards for you, and encourage you in your faith. All of this said, I feel like I need to tell all of this to myself--it's so much easier said than believed! If we can pray together to really come to knowledge of these truths I think God will do amazing things for us in love. He does hear us and knows our hearts. Here are some books I think you should read that have changed my life: Captivating, by John and Stacie Eldridge, and Love Smart by Dr. Phil. They are both really downright truthful and help... Reply »
Added a post Feb 18
Well I don't have any one answer for you, but...oddly enough I'm in the exact same situation (except I've only known him for a year). And my name is Jennifer, too! :) It hurts, this situation. I find that it affects my everyday life--why would God bring us together so clearly and then have us...not be together? I absolutely trust in God's ways, no doubt about it; and in this case, He is clearly telling me "No, Jen, this is not who I have for you right now." Our ways are not His ways, for sure, so knowing that truth helps ease the pain a little bit. In the mean time, I had to pretty much try to forget about him, which was/is nearly impossible! Everything reminds me of him. It takes will power and even more importantly, the Holy Spirit to get me through. I cut off communication with him, deleted him from my phone, and just really have been trying to move on. It's not me, it really is the Holy Spirit moving within me to help me get past this. I find that each day it gets easier and I don't think about him as much, and I'm slowly seeing a pattern of increasing happiness and freedom as the days go on (whereas before I was SO hung up on him and convinced that we were to be together that it was spiritually holding me back and dragging me down--I wasn't thinking realistically or stopping to really see how it was--we're NOT together). Well there is so much more I can say about this, but I just wanted to share with you how I'm dealing with this situation--this guy in my life, I really felt/feel like I could marry him as well. I don't know if how I'm dealing with it is "right," but I thought I'd just put it out there! I hope it helps, it's good to know that another person is going through this too. Reply »
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