A Military Path to Marriage

This week, Boundless editor Ted Slater had a creative idea. Rather than the typical Q&A with John Thomas (for the guys), he thought it would be creative to have John and I both weigh in on the same question. I had an immediate and strong reaction to the question when I first read it, and agreed that it would interesting to see how we might approach it differently.

Here's what our reader asked,

I've been in a serious relationship for about a year and a half, I'm really wanting to get married, but I haven't completed much college and I don't know exactly what I want to do for a living.

Right now I think that I want to enlist in the military. That would financially enable me to get married, and then when I came out I could go to college, and it would be all paid for. Not only that, I could serve my country!

My girlfriend doesn't want me to do this, though, because she doesn't want me to be deployed. It's not like we're engaged or married, so how much should I let her opinion weigh in on decision making? Obviously It has to, to some degree. It's not like she's giving me an ultimatium or anything. She said she would support me if I decide to do this.

Our side-by-side answers are here. I'm curious though, what would you answer?

Comments

[ladyfelicity]

Interesting. I guess my point of view is a little bit different, because I'm English and we have a different attitude to the military. I definitely consider joining the military a reasonable way to earn a living. Lots of people join the military for that reason in this country and for people with an average education, no degree and no "connections" (as Jane Austen says!) it always has been (and probably always will be) a good way for a man to make a way for himself and his family. That said, I wouldn't be excited about MY boyfriend joining the military at the moment. A guy should definitely consider his girlfriend's / wife's opinion before joining up I think!

[Charity Hall]

If he's wanting to marry the girl, her opinion should definitely have some serious weight!! I understand her point of view, and I also understand his. However, if he really wants to marry the girl and she feels very strongly about him not being deployed then he should definitely look in other areas before making a final decision. It also begs the question that if he doesn't value her opinion now (which it doesn't seem he does) will he later?