When He's Less Educated

Today's Q&A on Boundless is from the archives. Thanks to Ted for running an old column when I missed my deadline for the second time. Though I had a good reason! (Isn't that always the case?) This time it really was. We were slammed with fun and challenging activities last week gearing up for and then participating in the Focus on Marriage Simulcast, Dr. Dobson's farewell chapel, and MckMama's visit and daylong photoshoot. It's tough to get my writing done in "normal" weeks when nothing extra is planned. But last week was off the charts!

Interestingly, the column is possibly more relevant today even than when I wrote it, given the stats now being released about the way women outnumber men on college campuses.

The question: is it OK to date a man with less education? Well, it depends. She wrote,

I have a bachelor's degree and the guy I am interested in has a high school diploma and is successfully self-employed. I have a friend who says she would never date someone who was "uneducated" (without a degree), but this guy is intelligent, a voracious reader and committed to the Lord. Do you think dating or marrying someone with less education would be a barrier to the relationship?

You can read my answer here.

Comments

[Rachel V]

I really appreciated your honest answer, Candice! I especially appreciated your comment on his attitude towards an education. I do wonder though how he would feel though about possibly the woman making more money if she has an advanced degree such as a masters or Ph?

[Candice Watters]

Thanks, Rachel. You're right, that is a whole other issue. As is the question about how she would feel giving up that bigger salary, and scaling back to live on less, during the mothering years if she wants to stay home with the babies!

[Rhonda]

Candice:

I would love to see some articles about women marrying a man who makes less money. What if you marry a guy who can't afford to support a family if you quit work? (Even if you do scale back) What about a single mother getting married? Should she or could she expect the man to support her child? I get the impression that when this subject (of women who make more money) is brought up, everyone assumes single successful women live extravagant lifestyles and they just need to scale back. That isn't always the case. Often (but not always), single women who have advanced in their careers have only done so because they haven't met Mr. Right - not because they have some feminist agenda. I would love to see some real life examples of how women who make more money than the men they have married have handled the situation. I know several women who have married men who make less money and invariably the women became the breadwinners and very resentful ones at that. How about some very practical advice from Boundless on this? This is a big issue for many women. With women becoming more and more educated and marrying later in life, more and more women are making more money than their husbands.

[Candice Watters]

Rhonda,
This is a fantastic suggestion. I'll talk to Lisa and Suzanne and see if we can do a Boundless Show routable on this topic!

[Marie]

Thanks Candice - this was a terrific Q&A. I am a 20 year old finishing my Master's degree. This is a huge issue for me as most guys my age are still in community college! I'm passing this along to friends.