Women Praying Boldly

The Week in Pictures, part 3

(If you missed part 1 and part 2, it's not you. It's me. I posted them over on the Start Your Family blog so you'll have to click away momentarily if you're interested in those pics.)

In addition to saying goodbye to Dr. and Mrs. Dobson, attending the Focus on Marriage Simulcast and hosting blogger Jennifer McKinney and her husband for dinner and a MckGathering at Focus, I had the privilege of watching "MckMama" during a daylong photoshoot. Well watching and helping a little with lens caps, a lunch run and tweezers. It was an honor and rare treat to be able to see the professional photographer I most admire in action!

This week Jennifer is in Kenya with the Compassion bloggers, far from the snow and ice at Glen Eyrie, talking about what she's seeing there and helping me see what I've been missing. I love the way she's introducing the amazing people she's meeting! If you've ever thought about sponsoring a child through Compassion, there's no time like now. The need is so very great. To see what I mean, take a look at her photos.

When He's Less Educated

Today's Q&A on Boundless is from the archives. Thanks to Ted for running an old column when I missed my deadline for the second time. Though I had a good reason! (Isn't that always the case?) This time it really was. We were slammed with fun and challenging activities last week gearing up for and then participating in the Focus on Marriage Simulcast, Dr. Dobson's farewell chapel, and MckMama's visit and daylong photoshoot. It's tough to get my writing done in "normal" weeks when nothing extra is planned. But last week was off the charts!

Interestingly, the column is possibly more relevant today even than when I wrote it, given the stats now being released about the way women outnumber men on college campuses.

The question: is it OK to date a man with less education? Well, it depends. She wrote,

I have a bachelor's degree and the guy I am interested in has a high school diploma and is successfully self-employed. I have a friend who says she would never date someone who was "uneducated" (without a degree), but this guy is intelligent, a voracious reader and committed to the Lord. Do you think dating or marrying someone with less education would be a barrier to the relationship?

You can read my answer here.

Talking Marriage at Southern Seminary

Last week on our way to visiting family in Ohio, Steve and I dropped our kids off with my sister's family and headed south to Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, KY. We were there at the invitation of Russell Moore to man the Boundless booth and speak to college students about marriage at the Give Me an Answer Conference.

Though the weather in Kentucky felt more north than south, the hospitality was southern at it's finest.

We kicked our time off by interviewing Dr. Albert Mohler for an upcoming episode of the Boundless Show (you may recognize his name from the foreword in Get Married). Then it was on to hear him record his daily radio program live.

I love answering questions for Boundless Answers: Women and the Boundless Show inbox. But this was a different league of Q&A! Dr. Mohler took multiple questions from the audience and answered them on-the-spot, on-air with utter grace and wisdom. (You can listen to that episode here.) It was a privilege to see him at work. (If you've never heard his show, it's a potent source of insight and information. You can listen anytime online.)

After the show, we toured the beautiful campus of Southern Seminary and Boyce College.

Our purpose in going was to speak about God's role (as He's revealed it to us in Scripture) in helping us marry well. It's a role many of us find surprising after waiting so long for Him to write our Hollywood love story; something He never said He'd do. But what he does do is eminently more satisfying, and more glorifying, than we could imagine.

To all the students who attended our breakout sessions, thank you! It was a privilege to meet and talk with you. To the wonderfully talented and gracious staff of SBTS, thank you for a much needed getaway that handily landed on Valentines Day. And to Drs. Mohler and Moore, thank you for the essential work you're doing to faithfully raise up the next generation of leaders. We are deeply indebted to you.

Wedding Fantasy, and Reality

I used to dream about what my wedding would be like; down to the yellow roses in my bouquet and dark grey morning coat of the groom's tuxedo. I was 12.

It was fun to think about what might be. Anything and everything is possible when it's in your imagination, with only a stack of bride magazine to fuel the dream. Nothing as pesky as a budget to get in the way of that designer silk shantung gown.

It's a lot harder to make your dreams come true when faced with the limits of how much money you actually have to spend. Especially when family and friends have expectations of a huge guest list. And you don't. That's the setup for today's Boundless Answers column, Wedding Woes. The questioner writes,

We are set to get married in April 2010 but the money and family demands are driving us crazy. Initially we had agreed on a small wedding of up to 50 people, but as time went by and our families have been involved, this has grown to 200 guests and the budget is not what we can meet. We still want to honor our parents and invite all our relatives but it's becoming too expensive.

Thankfully this is both problem and opportunity with lots of room to resolve the conflict and improve the relationships. You can read my full reply here.

As for my own wedding, some of what I dreamt came true. But despite all the details that didn't match my girlhood dream -- for budget reasons, as well as changes in styles -- the real thing was much better than I had imagined. And that had everything to do with the man I married.

And you know that grey coat? It's the very one Steve picked out for his tuxedo!

An Update on the List of Thirty

One of the most encouraging inclusions in Get Married was the story about my friend Sharon's decision to ask 29 of her close friends to join her in dedicated prayer for husbands. The group of 30 agreed to begin in January of 2006. When they started, all of the women were single.

Since then, I've periodically checked in with Sharon for an update on how the women are doing. And as of her latest report, sent Sunday, the list of marrieds is growing.

As for the list from what I know from people there are 15 married, 1 engaged and 4 dating. It was fun looking through the list and thinking about all the women and the vastly different stories God has written for all of us. I wish more women could see it and experience it to know there is not just one way to meet a man, that there are still amazing men out there and they are well worth the wait, even if it takes into your thirties. Oh, and there are 5 babies and 1 on the way (as far as I know).

I was encouraged by her update. I hope you will be, too!

Marry Well Podcast

The Marry Well community is up and running — and growing! Last night when I asked Steve for an update, he said the membership has topped 600 already. And the male-to-female ratio is moving in the right direction: it was 10-to-1 at the start of the beta period and now, just one week later, it's 4-to-1. The gap is closing now that word is getting out beyond this Women Praying Boldly website!

Thanks to all of you you who've emailed your suggestions for improvement using the "Report Bug" button, sent notes of encouragement, and offered to help us spread the word. The MW team has made it easy with "share" and "invite a friend" buttons on the homepage as well as member homepages. If you haven't already, please take a minute to visit the site, and if you like what you see, share the link with your friends via email, Facebook and Twitter.

Incidentally, the community isn't just singles. I'm there as a reference — screen name "AuthorMama" — and you can invite your parents, pastors, and married friends to join, too.

If this is all news to you, or if you're curious but not convinced, there's a handy podcast you can listen to for a lot more detail. During a recent meeting of the founding partners — Steve, Motte, and Kurt — we talked about why we're doing this and what makes our service distinct. And our conversation is available as a podcast. If you listen, you'll hear me talking about the benefits the service offers to women, though I stepped behind the lens for the following post-podcast photo shoot.

And now, back to the to-do list!

Embrace the New Year, Not Your Dance Partner

I love January! I know it's reputedly the time of year when depression is up and cheer is down, but I get giddy thinking about a clean slate and all the new things we're going to try, books we're going to read, experiences we're going to have, relationships we're going to improve, and closets we're going to clean!

Not to mention my new pack of Sharpies!

How about you? Do you like planning for the year ahead with long to-do lists, resolutions, or some other system? Or are you a more happy-go-lucky, live-life-as-it-comes-at-you-sort-of-person? You can weigh in here or join the conversation going on over on the Boundless Line.

Speaking of Boundless, today's Q&A is from a woman who loves to dance. Or more accurately, of late she loves being single so she can be sassy with her male friends on and off the dance floor. But that's not something she's particularly proud of. What should she do?

In part, I suggest she take a permanent break from that sort of dancing. I write,

But certain kinds of dancing just make sin so tempting, and easy. The music, the movement, the dark lights, and before you know it, you're acting married, or nearly so — doing things that married couples do in private — with a man who isn't your husband. (And from my experiences with college dances, when the lights go up and you're back in real life, you realize how little you'd want to be married to that man you were so hot and heavy with on the dance floor!)

You can read the whole article, Dirty Dancing, here. Just curious — what advice would you have given?

The Fifth Day of Christmas

I used to sing The Twelve Days of Christmas like any kid, always getting mixed up about the maids-a-milking and lords-a-leaping, after the five-go-old-rings. But I never knew that the first day of Christmas is actually December 26. Till now.

I've been reading (and loving) Walter Wangerin's Preparing for Jesus this Advent and Christmas season. The book has a chapter for each day of December and on into January, up until the Twelfth Day of Christmas. Today's reading was about Simeon. If you've never had something to guide you through Advent, this is a wonderful book to consider!

Thanks to the inscription on the inside flap, I know this is my fourth attempt to read the book through. And for the first time, I'm eager, and expecting, to make it to the end. It's not the book's fault, just the busyness that can sap my good intentions!

You know how it is, with all those packages to mail to out-of-town family.

Not to mention all the baking that had to happen before we could mail the packages.

Although, actually, well, ah, those cookies were the ones my sister sent to us. And so it was that we were eating the cookies we were making to send out as gifts as well as the ones we were receiving in the mail.

Somehow we did manage to get enough baking done to fill our bellies as well as those of our loved ones. This year our favorite (and most re-made) cookies were the mint chocolate ones. I was craving peppermint all month long! How about you? What was your favorite baked treat — sweet or salty — that you made or received?

As you can imagine, we've also been busy with the pre-launch work on Marry Well. As part of the prep, I'm working on a "state of online dating" article to update Browsing for a Mate. A lot has changed since that first ran on Boundless in 2005, both in the online dating marketplace as well as in expectations and habits. (Did you know that as many as 1 in 8 new marriages begin online? I'm learning all sorts of new things working on this!)

Much of my inspiration for this re-approach to online dating comes from the stories I hear from readers. What's your experience — or non-experience — with e-dating? I'd love to hear!

Two Questions, One Party and the Perfect Appetizer

Today's Boundless Answers is for everyone who's dated an adult convert with a bit of an, ahem, past. The questioner writes,

...he's only been saved and living for the Lord for the past several years. He was never completely crazy before that, but he did have a reputation as somewhat of a partier and for always being with a different girl. He's completely changed since then, and as I've only known him for about a year, almost all that I know about him back then is through him. I trust him implicitly and know he's been completely honest about everything.

My problem lies with friends of mine (and my family) who knew him back in the day but haven't since he's changed. They hear we're dating and automatically see it as a problem because of what they knew him as. ...I just don't know how to handle or respond to comments or assumptions made by well-meaning people who don't know better. Especially when it's people whom I respect.

To read my reply, go to "But He's Changed."

In the latest podcast "Wishin' and Hopin' and Being Intentional," we answer another question about dating. This one's from a woman who's wondering how much time she needs to spend getting to know a man before she starts dating him. The key is how you spend your time together rather than how much time you spend.

We're always looking for good inbox questions for the show. If you have one, please email it to Ted at editor@boundless.org. If you act fast, there's still time to be featured on our 100th episode, coming up in just two weeks!

Friday's Boundless party was a hit. Especially Lisa's cheese dip. Ever since I started making hummus (and semi-homemade pita crisps) in my 20s, it's been my go-to appetizer.

Being the perfect starter, I figured why branch out? But Lisa's cheese dip is a close second. Maybe you have a recipe you'd like to place in the running?

December Decisions

Bake cookies for Friday's Boundless staff party, start browsing websites for gifts, make paper crafts, there's so much I love doing to get ready for Christmas that sometimes it's hard to choose! Since today is the deadline for Shutterfly's sale offerings, I think I'll focus on finishing up some photo gifts I started.

Here's a screen capture of the September page of the calendar I'm making for Steve's Grandma.

In addition to making Christmas cards, calendars and photo books, I sometimes make homemade hot fudge and bake bread as gifts.

What are you busy with in these early December days? Do you have any suggestions for homemade gifts?